There is only one way to overcome fear, and that is by moving through it - in the words of psychologist Susan Jeffers, to "feel the fear and do it anyway," also the title of her bestselling book. Every time we consciously move through our fear, we expand our comfort zone, in effect establishing our life spheres - the circles in which we move and function - at a broader, higher, more spacious level. Expanding our comfort zones is simple, though not necessarily easy.

Here is how it works: We place ourselves in situations that are progressively a bit more of a stretch for us, but not so uncomfortable that we flip out and slink back into our caves, tails between our legs, never to be seen or heard from again. We take steps of appropriate size. It is also important to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves, while not letting ourselves off the hook. We take ourselves as far as we can, and as gradually as we want, to the edge - to our limit. This means stretching, rising above previous limitations. It means taking risks and moving beyond our zones of safety and comfort - which, of course, will be different for each one of us. Only we know where that line is. It is important to push it out, and to do so regularly. It will be worth any temporary discomfort - which is the sacrifice we make as we commit to excel, to grow, to overcome our pasts, and liberate ourselves from our own fear, limitations, and self-made prisons.

All we have to lose is self-consciousness, and the fear that has held us back up to now. Why not let them go? Here is an example of how this might work. Say that we are shy, yet long for intimacy, friends, and a loving relationship. Those things cannot come about in a vacuum. We need to cooperate with the divine choreography by placing ourselves in situations where we will meet new people. So we might commit to meeting a new person every week, starting off with easy tasks, perhaps by introducing ourselves to someone while waiting in line, or striking up a conversation with a stranger on the bus. It does not matter who the person is; we are doing this as a practice.

We then take it to the next level, whatever that may be: perhaps going to a lecture, spiritual service, or other social situation, or telling someone we have engaged in conversation that we have really enjoyed meeting them and would like to continue the conversation sometime, then asking for their phone number. Remember that even if the person says no, we still come out ahead. For every time we take another step we are stretching out our boundaries - our comfort zone. By the mere act of asking, we are stretching, and therefore winning. Don't take "no" as a personal rejection, and remember that this is not about them but about us - about becoming more than we have been before.