In our most profound sexual experiences, it becomes clear: God is love; God is passion; God is life; God is sex; God is juicy; God is the Ultimate Orgasm, and the "Big Bang" itself.

To some, using the words "spirituality" and "sexuality" in the same sentence may seem oxymoronic, an inherent contradiction in terms. This is no wonder, given humanity's religiously-fueled history of sex negativity. Yet this is just not the case when we look at real human experience. Just ask yourself: whose name is more commonly moaned, uttered and invoked at the point of orgasm --

Probably with the onset of the patriarchal religions about 6,000 years ago, the physical and the spiritual were split. God and heaven were relegated to far-off realms away from the Earth, becoming essentially inaccessible and asexual. The physical, including the Earth and particularly the body, was made inferior, something to be controlled, conquered and subjugated. Sexuality was made not only wrong but sinful, even demonized.

Some ancient Eastern spiritual traditions did not share this sexual/spiritual schism, however. Tantric and Taoist traditions consider sexuality not only sacred, but a powerful vehicle to experiencing the Divine. In most indigenous and shamanic worldviews the body, including the sexual organs, is no less sacred than trees, flowers, animals or clouds. And in many of these and other spiritual traditions, the Creator is thought to be omnipresent, everywhere, permeating all of existence. To think that "everywhere" excludes the genitals and sexuality is ludicrous.

Before I learned spiritual practices like meditation and conscious breathing, the only thing that could quiet my mind's constant chatter was sex. During sex I was able to lose myself, becoming one with another. There was no separation between me and what I was doing. Time stopped. The French call orgasm "la petite morte," the little death. For at that moment there is a collapse of the ego boundaries that keep us separate; we dissolve into ourselves and each other in an exquisite state of timelessness. Our separate ego identities experience a temporary death, and we feel at one with the Universe.

To become more fully human, we need to reintegrate all aspects of our split, demonized humanity, and reconcile our sexuality and spirituality. It is impossible to be whole beings as long as we keep rejecting any part of who we are. We need to reclaim the sense of the sacred in the bedroom.

Part of the problem is that we tend to confuse outward, dogmatic, religious beliefs with our inherent, living spirituality. Bridging the sex/spirit divide is not about inviting into our bed an anachronistic old man with a beard and long white robes, accompanied by a choir of harp-playing cherubs (unless you are into that sort of thing, of course!), nor does it not have to mean doing it in the missionary position while listening to Gregorian chants.

What I am suggesting, rather, is that we expand our sexual repertoire and include deeper levels of intimacy, emotions, vulnerability and love in all aspects of our lovemaking. For this is what I mean by spiritual sex. Beyond just getting off, what we long for is a deep, soul-level connection with ourselves and our partner(s). Spirit-sex, or sex with awareness of its deeper dimensions, is not only extremely pleasurable but also provides powerful, enriching levels of intimacy, self-knowledge, and interpersonal connection. Sex is also an avenue toward spiritual enlightenment, one meaning of which is "to lighten up." Inherent to spiritual sex is a sense of fun, lightness and exploration.

To me, the best kept secret of being a good lover is to let sex be about love: sexual love, sensual love, divine love. To me, making love means just that, literally. We are conduits for the universal power of love in our relationships and sexual experiences, bringing the sacred energy of love into a world desperately in need of it.

Sex, when infused with spirit, is as hot, sensual, and passionate as it ever was. In fact, from personal experience I know that it is even more so, and certainly longer-lasting and more deeply satisfying. Truly, God is in the blow job. Or, as a lesbian minister I know says, "God is in the musk of our lovemaking."

We have been conditioned and misled into believing that God and spirituality are sexless, staid and boring. This is simply not true. In our most profound sexual experiences, it becomes clear: God is love; God is passion; God is life; God is sex; God is juicy; God is the Ultimate Orgasm, and the "Big Bang" itself. So next time that classic "Oh God!" escapes your lips during sex, remember how appropriate that remark is, for you are indeed savoring the Divine.

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